Radical Agenda S05E084 – The Buehler Saga

There are plenty of interesting things going on in the news today, and we’ll get to talking about them on this evening’s episode of the Radical Agenda, but none of them gave me any particular inspiration to write about.

Fortunately, as regular listeners have heard me mention, I’ve done a great deal of other writing for a book I am working on. Today, I will give you a sneak preview of one of the funniest stories I’ve ever had the joy of being a part of. For some of you, this will be a fun trip down memory lane. For others, it will provide important insight as to how the Radical Agenda came to be.

Once upon a time, I thought the Left vs. Right political paradigm was stupid. A big scam to take our economic and personal liberties away, one piece at a time, in alternating fashion. I had no more use for the Right than I did for the Left, and I was solidly convinced that the abolition of the State was sure to eventually cut the short list of life’s certainties in half.

Then Leftists began getting really belligerent within the libertarian movement, and I started realize that they had to be dealt with before anything resembling a libertarian social order could even be contemplated. At first I just thought they were stupid, and could be mocked into obscurity, but with time, it became obvious that this was a larger problem than laughter would be capable of overcoming.

Today, I share with you a story from the good old days, when I still believed humor was the answer.

Peaceful Streets

Even when I still thought racism was bad, I could see that anti-racism was worse. That was really saying something too, because I thought racism was pure unadulterated evil. Although we never talked about it much, I’m pretty sure all the non-White women I had been trying to breed with, felt the same way.

Of course, I was an aspiring comedian, and if I could find humor in pedophilia, I could find humor in anything.

I knew it was still unsafe to tell racist jokes, especially if they were funny, but I quickly realized that mocking anti-racists was pretty much the next best thing.

My favorite anti-racist joke of all, was a guy named Antonio Buehler.

Antonio and his associates presented an interesting ideological challenge for me.

Before I moved to New Hampshire, I thought the problem with the Left was mostly bad economic policy, and the sort of mental gymnastics necessary to justify it. My New Hampshire tormenters were my first introduction to “Left libertarianism”, but I really did not get a very firm grasp of the ideas from this conflict. They were ideological pacifists, and I recognized that bizarre train of thought from some of the less coherent elements of the anti-war movement, but New Hampshire’s nearly all White demographics presented little opportunity for talking about race relations.

When I was formally kicked out of the Free State Project, I entertained joining another libertarian political migration. There were two on my radar at the time. One in North Carolina, and one in Texas.

I mentioned on Facebook once that I was contemplating the Texas option, when John Bush informed me that my “misogyny” would not be welcome there.

I wasn’t even sure what the hell he was talking about, and when I asked, he informed me that I had called someone a “cunt” in recent weeks.

I found this rather amusing, because John and his crew had been supportive of me in my conflict with the Leftists in the FSP. They took it as too obvious to need stating, that cops were violent criminals who ought to be stopped by any means necessary.

Now here he was telling me to watch my language, for fear of hurting a woman’s feelings.

What kind of philosophy says it is okay to shoot cops, but immoral to use the “c-word”?

I was about to find out…

Antonio Buehler had made a name for himself as the founder of something called the Peaceful Streets Project. Antonio’s habit of screaming his head off, and making a scene for the benefit of the camera, hardly seemed to be making the streets any more peaceful, but the confrontations with law enforcement which set the stage for these outbursts, certainly made for great entertainment.

I had long been a fan of CopBlock.org, and the group’s founder, Ademo Freeman, was one of few people I had really come to consider a friend during my stay in New Hampshire. Inspired by this, it had become something of a regular hobby for me, to go out and film the police as a form of activism.

Buehler’s style was less “observe and report” than it was “obstruct and distort”. He and his crew would also go out with cameras to film police, but they lacked the patience to simply wait for something interesting to happen. Instead, Antonio would insert himself into the most routine activities of law enforcement, and antagonize the officers until they either walked away, or arrested him.

Before uploading the videos, they would often be deceptively edited. Whatever deceptions may have been lacking in the editing process, were more than made up for in editorializing the story behind the video.

I described one such interaction, in a post dated August 5th 2015

Antonio Buehler was not Arrested “for Recording”

File this one under “How NOT To Cop Block”

Upon hearing that Antonio Buehler had been arrested “for recording” again in Austin, Texas, I briefly felt a great despair that this enemy of mine might have actually done something good, and might be due a bit of praise, and support. Lucky for my ego, this was not the case. Heavily edited videos are circulating throughout police accountability blogs and social media, attempting to make Buehler’s arrest look heroic. Even with the purposely out of context editing however, any objective observer can see what he was actually arrested for.

Police claim they were responding to a report of a fight which had broken out. Buehler uploaded an edited video to YouTube, which showed only what appeared to be a woman in distress, being carried by friends. Whichever the case may be, Buehler did as he often does, and began acting like a raving lunatic. He is repeatedly told to stay at least arm’s length away from the officers at the scene, but instead has his camera so close to their faces, that the video is almost pointless to watch.

If Buehler had any interest in documenting the actions of the officers, it would have obviously been more prudent to step back and actually record those actions, instead shooting closeups of their facial hair and the sweat dripping down their cheeks. This makes him a very obvious distraction to whatever they may have been there to do, it obstructs their field of vision in a totally unreasonable way, and it doesn’t even serve the purpose of documenting the activities at issue. This was nothing but an attempt to antagonize the officers, and as further evidence of this, one of his cohorts says “So that was the plan tonight” when Buehler is arrested.

Upon being told he was under arrest, Buehler attempts to finally walk away from the scene. As any police accountability activist ought to know however, once you’re under arrest, leaving ceases to be on the list of options. So, unsurprisingly, he was tackled to the ground. Equally unsurprising are the charges, interfering with public duties, and resisting arrest.

If he has half a brain (not that I’m saying he does), he’ll plead out. So if you were thinking of donating to a legal defense fund, please be aware that you are just giving money to Antonio to do something else with. Personally, I can think of better uses for your charitable dollar. 🙂

Buehler is not a police accountability activist. He is a social justice warrior, and a relentless left wing agitator. Last year, The Peaceful Streets Project sought a “fellowship” with Echoing Green, a leftist “social entrepreneur” outfit with ties to George Soros, which has handed out millions of dollars to leftist political and social causes. Yes, the same George Soros who funded the riots in Ferguson. Perhaps those ties help to explain the constant race baiting and dishonest video editing the group has become notorious for.

Holding police accountable requires activists who maintain some level of integrity. If you are out there creating conflicts which would not otherwise exist, deceptively editing video, inserting race and gender into things that have nothing to do with those subjects, and outright lying to the public, then nobody worth reaching is going to listen to a word you say. Buehler fails at this miserably, and this manufactured conflict is only the latest of examples. He is a race and gender obsessed fanatic who doesn’t care one bit about the truth. He just wants to create conflicts which would not exist without his presence, and distract from real issues with his racial agenda, in order to raise money and gain exposure.

Putting a camera so close to someone’s face, as to make the face unrecognizable in the video, is not police accountability. It is harassment plain and simple, it borders on assault. Perhaps one might respond by saying police are a criminal organization, and deserve to be harassed and assaulted at a minimum. That’s a fine case to make, but that’s not what Buehler is doing. He is outright saying that he was arrested for recording and that his arrest was unlawful in an effort to raise money. Those are lies, and for those lies, he is the one who should be held accountable.

End of Post

The Funny Thing About Rape Is…

I had my run ins with Buehler well prior to 2015. Following my ‘Cuntgate’ incident with John, Buehler decided that I had to suffer, for not capitulating to the demands of hypersensitive feminists. He started stalking my Facebook page, and whining about every insensitive thing I said.

Perhaps it should go without saying, that I found this pretty amusing. That is how I came to learn the pure, unadulterated joy, of triggering Leftists.

For example, at some point in the course of this, it was insisted that “rape is never funny”.

Being a long-time fan of standup comedy, I remembered George Carlin addressing precisely this falsehood all the way back in 1990, during an act titled “Doin’ It Again”.

Carlin said,

Oh, some people don’t like you to talk like that! Oh, people gonna like to shut you up for saying those things! You know that! Lots of people, lots of groups in this country want to tell you how to talk, tell you what you can’t talk about.

Well, sometimes they’ll say well you can talk about something but you can’t joke about it. Say you can’t talk about something cause it’s not funny. Comedians run into that shit all the time. Like rape. They’ll say you can’t talk about rape. Rape’s not funny.

I say fuck you! I think it’s hilarious! How do you like that?

I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig, raping Elmer Fudd!

See! Hey why do you think they call him Porky, eh?

I know what you’re gonna say, Elmer was asking for it. Elmer was coming on to Porky! Porky couldn’t help himself! He got a hard-on, he got horny, he lost control, he went out of his mind!

A lot of men talk like that. A lot of men think that way. They think the thing is the woman’s fault, like to blame the rape on the woman, say “Hey she had it coming, she was wearing a short skirt!”

These guys think women ought to go to prison for being cock teasers!

Don’t seem fair to me! Don’t seem right! But you can joke about it.

I believe you can joke about anything. It all depends on how you construct the joke, what the exaggeration is. What the exaggeration is! Because every joke needs one exaggeration. Every joke needs one thing to be waaaay out of proportion.

Carlin spent the next 7 or so minutes telling other rape jokes, including one about a burglar raping an 81 year old woman. The audience laughed the entire time.

Carlin started his comedy career in 1959. His final HBO special, It’s Bad for Ya, aired live on March 1, 2008. That was 18 years after the “rape is hilarious” bit transcribed above, and he had one of longest and most successful careers in the history of the artform.

Carlin died three months later, in June of 2008, which is unfortunate in the extreme.

The world could really use a George Carlin right about now.

Personally, I don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about rape, so I did not have many good rape jokes on hand, but once he told me I couldn’t joke about rape, I knew what I had to do. I realized that I could find endless amusement by posting rape jokes to Facebook, and watching this Left wing nutcase piss his pants, for lack of ability to shut me up.

So, I borrowed material from others.

I recalled a meme I had seen which said “The IRS saying people are their ‘customers’ is like rapists calling their victims ‘girlfriends’”.

I adapted this to say something similarly negative about taxation, which was in keeping with Carlin’s advice on exaggerations;

“People blow rape out of proportion. Rape is no worse than taxation. Relax”.

The target, as you’ve no doubt guessed, jumped at the bait.

Rape is Hysterical

October 24, 2013

So, I made a rape joke the other day, comparing rape to taxation, and surprisingly enough, a bunch of people freaked out. Even more surprisingly, 280-something comments later, nobody seemed any more enlightened than before I posted it.

So, let’s address the issue here. Based on this, are you actually under the impression that I am in favor of rape? Do you think that I am a pro-rape guy?

Clearly not. What I’m doing here is saying something very bad about taxes. Of course, most people think taxes are just fine. If we want to make people think twice about taxes, perhaps comparing them to rape would be an effective method of doing so. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe people just freak out and ignore me. Maybe a bunch of Austin liberals jump on the “I hate Cantwell” bandwagon. Any of these outcomes is just fine with me, because it’s my responsibility to entertain an audience, not make everyone happy.

It would appear that over 30 people thought the statement was worthy of at least clicking “like”, and 48 other people thought it was worth chiming in on with a comment, 280 some odd times. So, at the very least, I’ve stirred up some discussion, for better or worse. It’s difficult to deny there is value here. If you don’t like the content, then that’s fine. I’m not necessarily surprised by that, it’s not for everybody.

There is a very simple solution to that. Do not read it.

Of course, some people think it’s their job to run around policing the internet and determining for others what is “acceptable” within the “liberty movement”.

Some pretend they don’t want drama, even as they invite it into their lives.

In these and other cases, the intent is obvious. These people know who I am, and what I do. I highly doubt they are under the impression that this sort of thing is going to cause me to change my content. I certainly doubt it’s going to prevent people who enjoy my content, from reading/viewing/listening to it.

They just want to be seen as do-gooders who condemned it. They are not improving the world, or bringing us any closer to a free society. It just makes them feel good about themselves to be the guy who bitched out the edgy comic for saying something disagreeable.

I’m sure there were a number of people who didn’t much care for George Carlin’s stance on rape either.

Now, if your complaint is that I’m not as good as George Carlin, or Opie & Anthony, well, okay, I can accept that. In fact, I appreciate you holding me to such a high standard. I’ll do my best to reach that level of brilliance. But I’m pretty sure that these guys went through a lot of the same crap during their careers. I’m also fairly certain that they never would have gotten where they did, if they stopped doing what they were doing every time somebody threw a hissy fit.

End of Post

30 Facebook likes was not a huge accomplishment for me at the time, but 280 comments was certainly higher than my normal level of audience engagement. I knew this was helping to increase my reach on Facebook, and the best part is, I didn’t even really have to put in any work

Antonio and his pack of wild social justice warriors, made idiots of themselves, by fighting all through the night with anybody who did not have the good sense to block them.

Of course, I had the good sense to do this, but at the time, I was gaining more than I was losing. So, I let it continue, and I kept on pushing for more.

I did some web searching for other rape jokes, and started posting them as Facebook status updates. I found this gem, for example…

It’s so awkward when you send a private text message to the wrong person. The other day I wrote a message, “Hey babe, thinking of U makes my cock hard, can’t wait to sex U up 2night” and sent it to my 10-year-old daughter… Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if I’d sent that to the wrong person.

Mind you, I do not have a 10 year old daughter. All my kids died in abortion clinics before so much as a gender reveal.

In keeping with the George Carlin rule of exaggeration, this joke met all the necessary elements. Texting something like this to one’s 10 year old daughter, on purpose, should be ridiculous enough to tell the casual observer that it is a joke. With one noteworthy exception, whom we’ll discuss later on, no child rapist would brag about something like this on Facebook. Even if one were so dimwitted and humorless not to get the joke by this point, aborted babies cannot text, and they do not get better at it after their tenth birthday has passed.

Antonio Buehler was just the sort of humorless dimwit to take this seriously anyway. He literally called me a rapist for posting this, and began an all out campaign against me that would have been bizarre even if he was receiving a handsome salary to do it. The idea that he was doing this, just because he thought it was the right thing, made it even stranger, and I didn’t realize he was digging for gold in the mines of George Soros, until almost two years later.

I had never seen anything like this before. He made the nutcases who tried to brand me a terrorist look reasonable by comparison. He started off by commenting on literally every post I made, going back months. In these hundreds of comments, Buehler called me a racist, a rapist, and every other stupid Left wing buzzword he could come up with. He would even reply to the comments of others, and try to shame them for associating with me.

Buehler and I had over 1,000 Facebook friends in common at the time this happened. He started privately messaging all of them, and insisting that they unfriend me, or he would block them.

Well, not all of them actually. At first, he would not dare do anything of the sort with anyone who had a reputation. He was only making this demand of people he thought he could bully. The high profile friends we had in common, like Luke Rudkowski, and Adam Kokesh, were spared this annoyance, at first.

After he got called out on this shameful behavior, he gave those friends some time to give in, and when they didn’t budge, finally unfriended them, too.

He went on Twitter, and looked at who my followers were. He started @mentioning them with screenshots of my naughty posts. He asked them why there were associating with a racist child molester, and demanded that they unfollow me.

He made the mistake of trying this on Tom Woods, a very respected figure in the movement, who I had always admired. Woods is a well educated historian and economist, and our styles could not have been more different. I was a foul mouthed guy prone to flying off the handle. Woods was always respectable, calm, cool, and collected. I didn’t even know Tom was following me, and I certainly had no expectation that he would come to my defense over a crude joke.

Woods told Buehler off, and ridiculed him from 9 in the morning, until 3 in the afternoon. He called Buehler a Stalinist, a Commissar, a creep, and a “PC hysteric”.

I had won, again.

But I was not done winning, and Buehler was certainly not done losing.

Caught in the Silence

Like all Leftists, Buehler was consumed by his hatred, and could not bare the thought of people having fun without his approval.

Also, in typical Leftist fashion, he had never even tried to make an argument, and thus could not prevail in our conflict by way of superior reasoning.

Buehler had overestimated his social capital, and his attempt to leverage his own popularity to diminish my status, had the opposite effect. Not only did most people reject his ultimatum to unfriend/unfollow me or lose his friendship fail, it made him look like a complete idiot, to people who previously had no awareness of who I was. Many people who had never heard of me before, only became aware of my material because of his temper tantrums. Many of them liked what they saw when they looked into it for themselves, and to the many readers of this book who I am sure are laughing right now since this describes them to the letter, I say thank you for sticking with me.

Buehler had no sense of humor. If one could have the opposite of a sense of humor, a comedic black hole of a persona, which would suck laughter into its vortex, and deprive all in proximity of anything resembling joy, this would more accurately describe his personality. Since he was battling an aspiring comedian with natural talent, his efforts to bully me by way of insults served only as the proverbial knife in a gun fight. He was mocked relentlessly on social media, and what started off as a mission to make others submit to the will of his Left wing financiers, ended up becoming a revolt against political correctness, which grew stronger by the day.

What happened next will come as no surprise to anyone familiar with these types of people. Buehler sought to have me silenced, by dishonest appeals to authority.

Buehler began reporting all of my posts to Facebook without any particular concern for the validity of the reporting. Most of them were reported for racism, but others were reported for violence, nudity, and all manner of things which in no way pertained to the actual content. The vast majority of the reports were rightly found not to be in violation of Facebook’s community standards, but every once in a while, one would stick, and I would be banned from posting to Facebook for 12 hours at a time.

Facebook would sometimes notify me of the reports before taking action on them. They did not tell me who made them, but it was obvious from what was being reported, the number of reports, and the timing, that this was being done on a mass scale, through a coordinated effort, led by Buehler.

At first, I stubbornly refused to remove anything, not wanting to let him win. I was compelled to rethink this strategy when my posts seemed to have come under the scrutiny of a far Left Facebook employee, who was less concerned with the merit of the reports. In the course of three days, I had four posts removed, and each resulted in me being banned from posting to Facebook for 12 hours.

It should probably go without saying, that Buehler and his allies celebrated this, and took the opportunity to relentlessly slander me while I was left without the opportunity to defend myself.

After realizing that this was imposing real costs on me, I decided it was better to delete the posts, and maintain my access to Facebook, than to stubbornly refuse, and suffer these losses.

In typical Leftist fashion, Buehler denied he was responsible for these reports to Facebook. Unfortunately for him, we had spies in a Facebook group called “The Libertarian Anti-Racist Alliance”, where he was caught bragging about it.

When one reports a post to Facebook, and the target of the report deletes the post, Facebook notifies the complainant that the post was removed by the target. Once Buehler saw that I had removed the posts, he said to his co-conspirators, “Haha, tough guy Cantwell is a coward hypocrite fake tough guy anarchist/libertarian” along with a screenshot of Facebook notifying him that I had removed the content.

In a blog post describing this situation, I made the following prescient statement;

I’ve repeatedly accused him of being behind my posts getting reported, and he has repeatedly denied it. But now, he is bragging about it.

Accepting liberals into libertarian circles was the stupidest idea ever. If a person is at Occupy Wall Street for some reason other than to tell them how wrong they are, that person is not a friend of liberty.

These cultural Marxist PC censors will not stop with me.

And of course, they did not stop with me. The internet censorship at the behest of PC obsessed nutcases like Buehler, has ensnared so many people, that it has literally become an issue in Presidential campaigns.

Manufactured Outrage

One thing that becomes obvious to anyone who finds themselves in conflict with outrage merchants, is that their campaigns are decidedly artificial. No matter how meticulously they attempt to stage these scenes, patterns always emerge that the careful observer can pick up on.

This is fine with the outrage merchants, because they would never gain the support of careful observers. Anyone with a three digit IQ who bothers to scratch the surface of social justice will quickly realize that the whole thing is a scam. Trying to pass this Marxist nonsense off as libertarianism, makes it even more fishy. Careful observers are thus the mortal enemy of social justice, and the goal is only to make a scene which passersby perceive as popular opinion turning against the target of the campaign.

I noticed a pattern on Facebook, that several accounts were speaking almost identically to how Buehler spoke. They all liked one another’s posts, and they all ganged up on the same comments. With the exception of Buehler himself, none of these accounts had much content on their own profiles, and they seemed to exist for little purpose other than commenting elsewhere.

One of those accounts was named “Jane Aggies”. All were in for a good laugh, when “Jane” made the mistake of posting on my blog, where I can see the IP address of commenters.

I described what I found in a post dated February 6th, 2014

Antonio Buehler Goes Full Retard

From the title, that might seem like old news, but seriously, it got worse recently. I really do want to stop talking about this crap, and hopefully this will be the last chapter I publish on the conflict, but this is just too funny not to put out there.

I’ve long suspected that Antonio was creating fake accounts to harass and report me to Facebook. After all, he unfriended over a thousand people just because they chose to stay my Facebook friend, so it would seem odd that support for his campaign was growing. In the world of leftists and other liars though, you can just fake the support.

Meet Jane Aggies. Jane doesn’t say much about herself on her Facebook profile, but what’s clear is that she is VERY upset about bigotry. She has no tolerance for racism, sexism, homophobia, or rape culture, and she sees these things everywhere, whether real or imagined. That’s why she thinks it’s just wonderful to report every post I make, whether it’s about these topics or not, to Facebook.

Jane made Facebook branded pages with names like “Christopher Cantwell is a disgrace to libertarianism” and “I Report Cantwell to Facebook like 20 times a day, come get some, Tubby”

She also really likes Antonio Buehler. She tags him, likes his comments, and has lengthy discussions with him in public Facebook posts. It’s kind of romantic, really. To see these two people working so hard together, in an effort to rid the internet of dirty language. They will never actually accomplish this goal, but if they can bond with each other, and make life difficult for their enemies, well, that’s good enough for them. Besides, if the goal never gets accomplished, they can continue trying to accomplish it for the rest of their lives, and, isn’t that what we all want?

But Jane and Antonio are closer than Facebook friends. In fact, they are closer than political allies, closer than lovers, closer than brother and sister. In fact, they are the same person.

Here’s a pro tip for trolls. If you are going to make fake personas on the internet, only use them on platforms that your target does not have control over. Because when you take your fake persona off of Facebook, and onto my website. I have access to your IP address.

After Jane and Antonio descended on my blog comments, I looked at their information in the administrative back end of ChristopherCantwell.com. It allows me to moderate comments, and it shows me the email and IP addresses of the people commenting. is the Internet Protocol address for both Antonio and Jane.

Did I mention that Jane only joined Facebook in December of 2013? That was about two months after this conflict between Buehler and I began.

Jane only has 13 Facebook friends. There’s only two photos of Jane on her profile, the one I posted above, and this one.

I think it’s worth pointing out, that it takes a certain amount of depravity to take photos of a woman with her child, and use it to create a fake persona, to harass a man on the internet. Especially when that person carries a gun, and a good portion of that person’s notoriety happens to be for advocating the violent overthrow of the most powerful government in the history of mankind.

We Have Identified the woman in the photographs. Her Name is Laura Carter, and she’s from the UK.  Antonio took these images from a charity campaign to help Laura’s daughter Ava… Something tells me he did not get this woman’s permission before using the photos of her and her daughter in his fraudulent acts.

It also goes a long way towards showing how sincere Antonio is in his contention that I was only banned because I broke the rules of Facebook. Despite piles of evidence, Antonio still insists he has not reported anyone, nor encouraged anyone to report me. He contends that if I was banned from Facebook, it was only because I broke my contract with Facebook by posting racist images.

The 19,000+ people who subscribed to me on Facebook can tell you that this is not true, but when did truth ever prevent a liberal from saying something?

What is unquestionably a violation of the contract with Facebook, is using fake names, impersonating other people, harassment, denial of service attacks, and making false reports. Antonio broke every single one of those rules with the intention of disrupting my business, my activism, and my enjoyment of Facebook.

Screaming at the police on the side of the highway is fun to watch on YouTube. Police accountability is a noble goal. We’re all happy to see veterans turn against the wars they fought in. But Antonio Buehler uses force and fraud to accomplish his goals. He is not a libertarian, and he never has been.

End of Post

The cover up is often worse than the crime. In this case, it is debatable which was worse, but we can say with certainty that the cover up was funnier than the crime.

In a post dated February 8th 2014, I described the events that transpired in the wake of this exposure.

Antonio Buehler Manufactures Fake Girlfriend to Cover Up Lies

Full retard is presently being redefined by Antonio Buehler. After exposing his fake “Jane Aggies” persona Wednesday, Buehler went into panic mode and began trying to cover up his deception.

First, he took down the photos of Laura Carter, and changed the name of the profile to “Anarcho Capitalism” (something Antonio has previously condemned as racist).

Then, the profile was deactivated.

Then, the profile came back again. This time with a new photo, of a different woman. The original photo appears on Antonio’s Facebook profile, and has Antonio in it, but in this profile image, Antonio has been cropped out.

“Jane” then posted the following message with a link to my article from Wednesday.

As thoroughly entertaining as this has been, my compulsion to debunk a libertarian conspiracy theory has gotten the best of me; I’m Antonio’s girlfriend.

Tip for future theory formation: don’t ignore grossly inconsistent evidence – admission into Stanford and Harvard is inconsistent with being a “Full Retard.”

Cheers, liberty bigots. Eat your hearts out. ?

Wow, I guess I got owned, huh? I mean, how could a retard get into these high end schools? (Cough, Paul Krugman, cough, George Bush, cough) No, congrats on that, really. Everybody knows it’s only idiots like me who see the American education system as a complete waste of time and money, and get out before they spend the best years of their lives, and tens of thousands of dollars of their parents money, on academia. The path of the true genius is High School, then military, then college, then liberal activism, just like all those other really bright folks in Zuccotti Park, sleeping in their own shit and screaming about how I should be forced to pay off their student loan debt.

Side note, I’m pretty sure Antonio is paying people to do his school work. This retard can barely spell his own name, and even with all mommy and daddy’s money, even with his minority advantages, even with his service to the State, even with George W. Bush as our standard for acceptance to these schools, I don’t for one second believe he’s making it on his own merits. If you have information on any academic fraud by Antonio Buehler, I’m willing to pay, use the contact form on this website.

After all, Martin Luthor King was a plagiarist, so that’s something Antonio might aspire to be as well, and if you point that out, he’ll just call you a racist!

Speaking of inconsistent evidence, back to the girlfriend thing. I’m still pretty sure this is Antonio, in fact, I’m betting $50 he doesn’t even have a girlfriend. I’ve offered $50 to the charity of Antonio’s choice for a photo of them holding today’s newspaper. It’s been over 36 hours, and Antonio hasn’t responded yet.

Why wouldn’t he post a photo with his girlfriend for $50? Because he cannot produce one. There is only the one photo of this woman that anyone I know can find, and we’re pretty good at this stuff. It is the cropped photo in the Jane Aggies profile, which is an altered photo from Antonio’s profile, where he calls her “Marie”.

That photo was uploaded on November 10th 2013.

It’s the only photo of this “girlfriend” anywhere, including on “her” own profile.

The EXIF Data for the photo, shows the ICC Header date being in 2012

“Jane” claims to live in Keene, NH. Funny, I used to live just outside of Keene. I never met her. Come to think of it, nobody has. Even on her photo in Antonio’s album, nobody identifies as knowing her. Lot’s of people complimenting her looks, and asking who she is, but nobody, not even Antonio, answers them, not to this day.

If “Jane” lives in Keene, then why is she using Antonio’s IP address? Is Antonio giving away access to the Harvard Grad school VPN? I’m pretty sure there’s rules about that… Even if “Jane” is lying about living in Keene, even if she’s in Austin with Antonio, it doesn’t make sense for her to be using Antonio’s VPN, unless she’s logging in to do his schoolwork for him. They have been engaged in (fake) discussions with each other, having comments within minutes of each other. This would mean he was stepping away from his computer, and then letting her use it, to reply to his comment, and tag him, only so he could sit back down, log back in, and like the comment.

Why are there only 5 posts on Jane’s page? Why are all of them about me?

“Jane” created the “I Report Cantwell Like 20 Times a Day, Come Get Some Tubby” Facebook page.

Now, Antonio is a government mercenary. It makes sense for him to invite violence upon himself. Does anybody really believe Antonio’s girlfriend is inviting me to violence?

Why do we see this screenshot of the “I Report Cantwell” page first denying that “Jane” made the page, and then admitting it?

Did this imbecile just get his personas confused?

Now, here’s the funniest part in my book, “Jane” made the following status update to Facebook.

And since I’m outing myself tonight, I’d like to add that I’m also Jonathon Thriftwood. “His” posts are much more solid than “Jane’s”. I went with a male pseudonym because I quickly learned that within the “liberty” movement, males have the privilege of a louder voice. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen plenty of women in the spotlight – but only to the extent that they exhibit a constellation of traits that are consistent with the key variables of the algorithm for popular liberty lady: tolerable on the eye, willing to disavow feminism, able to turn a blind eye to – if not actively engage in – sexism/misogyny, and facility in regurgitation key buzz phrases such as “I love bitcoin!” and “I hate statists!” Bonus points if you can recite lines from a Stefan Molyneux video and/or some Men’s Rights “facts.” Jesus Christ, if I had no self respect and only a fraction of my intelligence, I would be a rockstar in this movement – and this is not grandiosity or hyperbole, but that is the product of an objective and rational assessment.

First of all, only someone who has been collecting dust for the last 40 years could possibly think being a female is a disadvantage in the “liberty movement”. Even completely brainless female content producers like “Libertarian Anne” quickly gain thousands upon thousands of followers, exceeding that of far more intelligent, entertaining, talented and capable male production teams. This “movement” is saturated with desperate single men who throw likes, comments, subscriptions, dollars, and bitcoins at anything that sits down to pee.

The reason people who don’t disavow feminism have no voice in libertarian circles, is because feminism has no more a place in libertarian circles, than white supremacy. Neither do any of your baseless, incessant cries of racism, homophobia, or this insane notion of “rape culture”. We see individuals as individuals, so we don’t care any more about women than men, or blacks than whites, or gays than straights. We don’t get any more pissed off about black jokes, than we do about Irish jokes, and we know that jokes do not cause women to get raped, any more than cancer jokes cause people to get rabies.

All your liberal PC nonsense is nothing more than an effort to turn the tables of oppression, instead of ending it. You put women above men, blacks above whites, gays above straights, and that completely defeats the purpose. These simple truths are why I’ve been able to cost Antonio over a thousand Facebook friends, and two points off his Klout score. It’s why ChristopherCantwell.com is one of the most popular libertarian websites on Earth, and the Peaceful Streets Project, Buehler Ed, and all his other half assed, plagiarized, wannabe projects are collecting dust. It’s why all of my measurements of success have increased since he started this mess four months ago, while all of his have declined. I’ve exposed him for a fucking liberal. That’s why Antonio is coming to the very correct conclusion, that there is no place for him in the “liberty movement”. He belongs in a tent at Zuccotti Park with the other flea infested Occupy Wall Street shitheads, not on a stage at the Porcupine Freedom Festival next to talented, intelligent libertarians.

Secondly, “Jonathan Thriftwood“, who joined facebook in August of 2013, no doubt as some other Buehler troll account, has ZERO public posts, and only 13 facebook friends (Same as Jane). He is in only one Facebook group “Free Antonio Buehler”, and he likes 1 page “Association of Libertarian Feminists”. So clearly, if Jane, or Marie, or whatever Antonio has named this fantasy woman, wanted to actually use her fake penis to gain some traction, she’s done an absolutely fucking miserable job of doing so.

Like everything else Antonio and all his leftist liar comrades do, this is nothing more than the saddest attempt in the history of electronic communications, to obfuscate facts and identities. This is no doubt at least part of the reason Antonio unfriended all of our mutual friends, and blocks everybody who disagrees with him on Facebook. Because to allow his remaining followers to see what’s actually happening would throttle him into obscurity, faster than a one way rendition trip to Guantanamo.

The saddest part of all this, is that nobody has stepped up to confirm or deny the girlfriend. Even if this woman isn’t just some desperate attempt to cover up previous lies, this can only mean that Antonio has nobody in his real world life close enough to even know if he would have a girlfriend or not.

If I posted about a girlfriend, the people I actually talk to in real life would have something to say about her, other than to comment on her looks. Wouldn’t the people in yours? There would be photos of us all over the place, we wouldn’t be sharing a single camera phone shot between the two of us years later.

It would seem, that Antonio has as much trouble building interpersonal relationships in real life, as he does keeping his lies straight on the Internet. As a result, he has found himself the loneliest son of a bitch this side of solitary confinement, and if he has an ounce of fucking dignity left, he’ll hop in the tub with a razor blade and a bottle of vodka.

End of Post

As I was putting this book together, I clicked the links to these profiles that I embedded in these blog posts. All of them have since been removed.

In my comments section, some observers summed this situation up pretty well.

DC writes;

I think this article ends the saga. You have sonned this kid out to the point of no return Cantwell. You have made so many damning points about this kid in your last two articles alone its too late for his redemption no matter what he says. Enjoy that victory cigar my friend, the battle is won. On to better things!

CD writes

For the record, I respected Anthony Buehler until recently. Unfortunately, this has had to change 180. Damn, man. He’s got a point of view. He should just express his point of view without going through all this rigmarole.

If he’s going to invent fake personas to attack his enemies online; use appearance-shaming tactics from behind the persona of a hot woman whose photos were stolen from a Brit mom who put them online to help out a charity for her sick daughter; and make tons of abusive false reports to get people’s content that he doesn’t like removed, themselves mostly under multiple fake personas; then … he’s removed himself from any serious consideration as a philosopher or moralist.

I suppose if he’s always aspired to be a lying bully, he’s well on the path to success. But I thought his raison d’être was that he opposed lying bullies in the form of corrupt police? It seems any standard of behaviour doesn’t apply to him as far as he’s concerned.

America’s Most Important Liberal Activist

Rather than take DC’s advice, I continued to bait and taunt Antonio, but I learned that I would not profit from doing this on Facebook, due to the censors.

Back then, Google was a somewhat more honest company. If their algorithm determined that your website was the most relevant result for a given search term, yours would rise to the top.

This is no longer the case today, as we’ll talk about in greater detail later. Today, if you search Google for “Christopher Cantwell”, my website, ChristopherCantwell.com is on the fourth page of results. Do the same search on DuckDuckGo, and I am the first result, where I belong. The same was true for Google in 2014.

Antonio had set up several different websites, none of which got very much traffic. If you searched for his name, one would mostly find other libertarian blogs which had mentioned some of his more noteworthy activist stunts.

When one is not being censored by search algorithms, a search for a term contained within the domain name will almost always turn up that domain name first. Unfortunately for Antonio, he did not have the wisdom to register AntonioBuehler.org, before I did.

I set up a new WordPress blog using this domain. The tagline for the site was “America’s Most Important Liberal Activist” and featured a cartoon superhero mascot, with a hammer and sickle emblem on the chest, and Buehler’s face.

There I wrote several parody blog posts, as if they had been written by Buehler. They were so over the top that they should have been seen as satire by any informed observer, but the site came to prove the legitimacy of Poe’s Law in short order.

Anyone who searched for Antonio Buehler would find this site, and since Antonio had a habit of making the news in Austin, Texas, this was not at all infrequent. People would see Antonio on TV, search his name, and find my parody blog. Comments from readers made it obvious that no matter how hard I tried, I just could not create a Left wing parody that some people would not mistake for the genuine article.

The work I put into it was also solid comedy. Even Antonio’s friends and supporters found the whole thing rather hysterical, and the site saw countless referrals from social media shares.

Buehler was powerless to stop this, and it drove him absolutely insane.

Here are a selection of the best posts.


My Name is Antonio Buehler

by Antonio • February 13, 2014

Hello, I’m Antonio Buehler, America’s most important liberal activist.

Some have called me a Messiah, and while I must preserve that title for Allah, (PBUH) I’m pretty close. I travel the internet all day, fighting for social justice. Whenever I see something oppressive, I report it to the proper authorities, because the only way we can have freedom, is if all opposition has been silenced.

This is no small task we have before us, and I ask you to join me in stopping the oppressors from spreading disagreeable ideas. That is why I have created this website, for you to follow me, and do what I say. Obedience is the only true path to freedom, so all opposing comments will be deleted and reported to the proper authorities.

Tags: Activism, Antonio Buehler, greatness, holier than thou, important, liberal, messiah

All Sex Is Rape

by Antonio • February 13, 2014

“Penetrative intercourse is, by its nature, violent.” ~ Andrea Dworkin.

Rape culture is all around us. Men prey on women like a mountain lion preys on the antelope. The patriarchy has so weakened women throughout the centuries, that they are no longer capable of giving meaningful consent to sex. How can a weaker being consent to being violated by a stronger one?

Even in cases where the woman initiates the sexual contact, it is only because she has been repeatedly victimized by magazines telling her she should, this is another form of rape. Every time a woman looks at a magazine while on line at the supermarket, she is being raped.

I have, in the course of my study of this subject, viewed some pornography. Mind you, this was for research purposes only, pornography is another form of rape, and I am the only male who does not rape women. If you look at pornography, you are a rapist, and so you are already aware, that pornography demonstrates the most violent sex acts imaginable. Whether it is a video of acting out an actual rape fantasy, or forced deep throat, or, back room casting couch scams, or, excuse me, brb…

Where was I?

Oh yes, all men are rapists, except for me of course. That’s why I am a feminist. It is only through feminism, or at least, homosexuality, that men can repent for the sin of being male. By admitting that women are in fact the master race, we can begin undoing the centuries of damage done by the patriarchal system, and begin working towards the Amazonian Masterhood that was our destiny.

Tags: Antonio Buehler, feminism, I am better than you, I Am Important, liberalism, patriarchy, rape, rape culture, rape jokes, social justice

Valentine’s Day Is Rape

by Antonio • February 15, 2014

Today is Valentine’s Day. I wanted to write about this earlier, but I had been unable to do so, as I spent most of the day crying. Now, completely out of tears I will tell you the truth about this horrific capitalist holiday…

Valentine’s Day surely purports to be a day of love and romance, and sure, many people will express it that way. The truth of the matter is far uglier though. Valentine’s Day subjugates women, by cementing their status in society as the property of men under patriarchy. He may buy her gifts, but what is that really, besides wage slavery? He may buy her drinks, in an effort to get her drunk so he can take advantage of her. He may tell her nice things, compliment her eyes, or her hair, but all he really wants to do is violate her.

Aside from being a greedy capitalist scam to sell greeting cards, chocolates, and condoms, this is nothing more than another clever ruse by the patriarchal hierarchy to make objects of women. To make them property. To make them subordinate sex objects. Since property cannot consent to sex, every sex act committed today will be a rape, because as we know, all sex is rape.

And all you white men in your interracial relationships, don’t think you’re fooling anybody. We know that you are racist, and that’s why you are raping that woman of color.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tags: Antonio Buehler, bigotry, dating, I Am Important, I am so cool, love, racism, rape, rape culture relationships, romance, sex, Valentine’s Day, you guys suck

Cake Is Racist

by Antonio • December 17, 2014

When I think about social justice, I think about the young. We are fighting this fight so that they can grow up in a sanitized world without disagreeable thoughts. That’s why it is so troubling to see what I saw in Gawker this morning.

A girl from the Delta Gamma Sorority at the University of Maryland celebrated her 21st birthday with a cake that had “Suck a Nigga Dick” written on it. To make matters worse, they posted a photo of this slavery inducing baked good on Instagram.

The racist cake was allegedly inspired by a Three Six Mafia song by that title. However, using the N-word is black privilege, not white privilege. Black people are allowed to be racist because they have been oppressed for a million years. Women like the one in the picture are not allowed to be racist because she is white.

White women are allowed to be sexist against men, like me, but not racist. Misandry is the only proper bigotry for this privileged white woman to be engaged in.

Luckily, the sorority realized that this cracker was engaging in the wrong kind of bigotry, and issued a statement on their Facebook page this morning;

We have become aware of an unacceptable Instagram post by a member of our chapter. The Fraternity volunteers and staff are working with our chapter at the University of Maryland at this time to hold this member accountable. Delta Gamma Fraternity is a dynamic organization committed to diversity and does not discriminate on the basis of race, religious affiliation, color, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, marital status or physical disability. All efforts are in place to guarantee those selected for membership are committed to living our values. Delta Gamma stands for high ideals of friendship, promoting cultural and educational interests, a true sense of social responsibility and developing the best qualities of character.

I appreciate the efforts of the Delta Gamma sorority, but I don’t think they go far enough.

This cake was obviously brought about by the capitalist baking industry. Capitalism is racist, baking is capitalist, and so it should come as a surprise to nobody that cake is racist. That’s why I’m calling on all my brother and sister social justice warriors to boycott cake.

Until these capitalist bakers come up with a way to make their products safe from racism, I shall refrain from consuming their products, and you should too.

I sent Barack Obama a text message this morning asking him to join us, but I think someone else has his phone because they keep replying “Leave me alone fgt”.

Tags: Cake Is Racist, Delta Gamma, I’m better than you, I’m not racist, kill whitey, property is theft, social justice, Suck a Nigga Dick, University of Maryland

Hibachi Restaurants are Racist

by Antonio • July 25, 2014

I went to dinner the other night thinking I was in for a good meal and some Asian culture, but what I found instead was a horrific display of racism and capitalist greed. I visited a hibachi restaurant with my imaginary girlfriend last evening. As we sat down to the table, a short Japanese man came out in a funny hat and in broken English asked me if I wanted chickay, stay, oh shree (which I presumed to mean chicken, steak, or shrimp).

After I ordered the chicken, the man began preparing the food on the grill right in front of us. As he did this, he made jokes in a very thick Japanese accent. He spun and twirled his cooking utensils, an obvious mockery of the proud ninja warrior culture he was exploiting for corporate greed.

White devils watched in amusement, as he squirted sake into the mouths of patrons. I was seething with social justice fury as I watched these racists exploit this poor man’s heritage for their own amusement. I began to shout “racist” and “bigot” at the white oppressors in the restaurant, in an effort to save the cook’s dignity, and that of his ninja ancestors.

The manager came into the dining area and asked me to leave. I called him a coward and informed him that I knew he was just working for the white man to oppress his own people. I told him his capitalist exploitation of inferior races was coming to an end, thanks to me reporting posts to Facebook. He must have known I was onto him, because that’s when he called the police. Little did he know, I am the founder of the Peaceful Streets Project, and police have never stopped me from shouting obscenities in public.

When the police arrived, I took out my camera and called them cowards, racists, and bigots. It was almost as if I was speaking in tongues as a profanity laced anti white tirade came pouring from my sake soaked lips. I demanded they free Nelson Mandela as they handcuffed me and dragged me away in their cruiser.

In the end I was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and public drunkenness. I intend to take this fight all the way to the Supreme Court, but I’ll need your help. Please consider giving me all of your money so that I can fight these racist allegations and prove once and for all that it is every American’s god given right to hurl baseless allegations at innocent people on private property.

Tags: bigotry, hibachi, I am so much more important than all you peasants, Japanese, my imaginary girlfriend, ninjas, peaceful streets project, racism, social justice

Merry MLK Day!

by Antonio • January 19, 2015

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which in my home, is kind of like Christmas. The stockings have been hung from the fireplace, the tree is sparkling, and this morning we all woke up early, opened the envelopes that Dr. King left under the tree for us, and filled out our taxes early to celebrate.

I love Martin Luther King, because I’m not a racist. If you don’t love Martin Luther King, you are a racist, and that’s the problem with the typical white male persona. I actually saw one blogger saying bad things about MLK. I instantly realized he was a white capitalist, and that just explained everything I needed to know. There wasn’t much point in reading what had been said about the good reverend, because anything but praise for him and the Virgin Coretta is heresy. I will not subject my immortal soul to damnation just to read the racist rantings of some white capitalist.

Capitalists often prove the racism inherent in their economic theories by condemning Martin Luther King as a socialist. This is proof that capitalism is racist. Martin Luther King was black, and believed in socialism. If you disagree with him, that means you’re a racist plain and simple. So how can capitalism be anything other than racism with money? When are you white people going to wake up and check your privilege?

Yes, Martin Luther King was a socialist. What else could he have been? Capitalism breeds inequality, and inequality is oppression. We should all be the same, no matter what our age, gender, skin color, or ability to perform a particular task may be. Your freedom of association only goes so far as someone else’s desire to use your property or make demands of your services. That’s what freedom is all about, people getting to do what they want, with whatever they want, and having no negative consequences whatsoever.

Martin Luther King had a dream, but that dream is far from realized. As long as innocent black people are being killed while they commit strong armed robberies, there is racism in the world. America needs to step up to the 21st century and legalize theft. It is racist and homophobic to expect black people to pay for things.

We have to stop being distracted by petty issues like taxation and gun control, and focus on what really matters. Race. When black people are killed, we have to ignore everything else, and focus on the color of their skin in order to fully realize Martin Luther King’s dream.

But black people aren’t the only ones being discriminated against, and it is time we stood up for them too.

For far too long, men have oppressed women. We have to stop these vicious thugs from saying hello to women on the streets. We have to stop their misogynist television commercials, pornography, and prostitution. We have to stop taking facts into account when we hear about rape allegations like the one at UVA. Whether or not Jackie was raped is not the issue, the fact of the matter is, she feels victimized, and that alone means somebody needs to go to prison. To say anything else is to support legalized rape.

Keeping wheelchair bound persons and social security recipients out of the National Football League has to end. While I thank the NFL for doing so much to raise black people up in society, they need to stop discriminating against other groups that society has left behind.

We need more Asian basketball players, more black golf players, more fat horse jockeys, more female coal miners, and fewer white male capitalists making racist cakes and exploiting the Japanese for their Hibachi grills.

Until then, I will keep up the fight for social justice in America. I will proudly scream and yell at strangers wherever I may find them, until they check their privilege, give up their guns, and redistribute all the property evenly. It will be a hard battle, and I will likely die a martyr, but if I cannot die a martyr, then I shall live as one.

Merry MLK Day Everybody!

Tags: Asian Basketball players are better than white people, Christmas, golf is a black man’s sport, Holiday, I am not a racist but you are, I am so totally above the rest of you, I am very important and if you don’t believe me just check my website, I hate white people, kill whitey, Martin Luther King, MLK, racism, rape culture, social justice, UVA, white people should be lynched

Good Job ISFLC!

by Antonio • February 23, 2015

Students for Liberty is my single favorite libertarian organization, because they keep the fight for social justice right in everyone’s face. Other libertarians are racist because they want to talk about taxes and economics, but SFL knows that the real important stuff is about race and sex. If you’re not talking about race and sex all the time, you’re a total racist, sexist, homophobe, end of list.

For too long, the libertarian movement has been dominated by white male capitalist ideologues. Thanks to my friends at Students for Liberty and the Center for a Stateless Society, that’s all about to change.

We’re not just going to kill Rothbard, we’re going to kill whitey.

What the libertarian movement needs is transgendered black communists with flexible belief systems.

Firstly, die cis scum.

For too long, your traditional State imposed gender controls have oppressed people like me who are doing our best to look like women despite having a penis between our legs. Just because I have male genitalia does not make me a male. I can be any gender I want, and your stupid scientific facts have nothing to do with gender. Gender is all about my need to feel important and victimized, not genitalia, hormones, DNA, or physics.

Secondly, kill whitey.

I keep hearing these “race realists” talking about “white genocide”. Normally, we try to keep these things hush hush, but let me just be straight with you. White people are oppressors because of their skin color, and before we can free ourselves of capitalist greed, we have to eradicate them from the planet. That’s why we only support forced integration policies and discrimination laws in white countries. Yes, we are exterminating you, and that’s a good thing. Kicking you out of the liberty movement is the least of your problems, white people, so stop complaining.

Thirdly, smash capitalism,

This is the only way to end race and gender oppression. Greed makes people want stuff. Stuff is used to oppress people. What part of this don’t you people understand? Inflationary monetary policy encourages saving by lowering interest rates, which leads to the accumulation of capital. Once someone has capital, they can pay people to do things they don’t really feel like doing, and that’s wage slavery.

Thus, capitalism is racist because slavery.

Lastly, we really need to have more flexible belief systems.

There is no truth. Words have no meaning. All these rigid “principled” stances libertarians keep making are hurting the movement. The only way we’re going to be able to take over the world is if we get everybody on our side, and the only way to get everybody on our side is to redefine our words to make them fit everyone’s belief systems. This is politics 101, I should not have to explain this to a presidential candidate.

That’s why I’m so proud of Aarón Shelby Baca, Mackenzie Holst, and Cory Massimino for authoring the Open Letter to Ron Paul, and disrupting his address at the International Students for Liberty Conference in Washington DC by reading it out loud. Ron Paul is a racist, everybody knows that because we saw it on Rachel Maddow like a hundred times. I haven’t read those newsletters, and I don’t know if he was actually the one who wrote them, but it doesn’t matter. Once MSNBC says you’re a racist, you’re a racist. It doesn’t matter if you spent the last 40 years dedicated to the cause of human freedom. You had your name on a paper that said things I would probably disagree with if I read it, so you don’t deserve any respect at all.

Tags: Aarón Shelby Baca, C4SS, Center for a Stateless Society, Cory Massimino, die cis scum, i’m really important, International Students for Liberty Conference, kill Rothbard, kill whitey, Mackenzie Holst, Only Syriza can save the European economy, Open Letter to Ron Paul, radical leftist saboteurs, SFL, Students for Liberty, transgendered black communists

Rachel Dolezal Is A Hero Of Social Justice

by Antonio • June 13, 2015

Lately one of my most cherished idols has come under attack. Rachel Dolezal, head of the Spokane NAACP chapter, and the Spokane police oversight commission, has come under fire for “lying” about her race. These charges are provably false, and I am shocked that my fellow social justice warriors have not yet come to her aid.

Race is nothing more than a social construct used by white capitalist heterosexual males to oppress people. It is as fluid and changeable as any other social construct such as gender, age, money, or time. Anybody can be any race, gender, or age, they choose to identify as. That’s what freedom is all about, deciding who, and what you are, for yourself. I myself did for a time identify as a lesbian dinosaur, and society’s refusal to accept my identity was crushing to my emotional state.

What Rachel did, by changing her skin color, hair style, and attitudes was far from fraud or racism. She wasn’t appropriating black culture, or trying to reap the benefits of affirmative action as she filled out applications for jobs by checking the African American box under the question of race. When she posted photos of a black man to her Facebook page, saying it was her father, she was not deceiving the public for political purposes. When she manufactured fake racially motivated death threats against herself, she was not trying to get sympathy for social gains.

She was doing what all of us should be doing. She was checking her privilege, and in quite the groundbreaking manner. I worship transgendered people just like all of us do, but let’s face it, this isn’t exactly news anymore. Men have been chopping their penises off and stuffing their shirts for years. To see a white person change her skin color and become a civil rights leader, that’s a whole new level of social justice kung fu.

She was born white, and as my regular readers are all too well aware, white people have privilege, and privilege is inherently evil. Only a chosen few are able to shed that privilege just enough to become a true social justice warrior. Very few of them can accept the inherent superiority of transgendered black communists. Rachel did more than that, she became African American, voluntarily.

She abandoned the secret handshakes that white people do in the Klan meetings they all attend, and the instant free wealth that white capitalism provides. She left her privilege with her parents, and got into the trenches with our oppressed black brethren.

She shed the skin of the oppressor, and donned the mask of the oppressed.

If you say anything bad about Rachel Dolezal, that makes you a misogynist. Or have you forgotten that she is a woman, and thus beyond scrutiny?

Not only that, but now that transracialism is a thing, we must too coin the term transracialphobia. You wouldn’t want to be labeled a transracialphobic now, would you? Don’t make us ruin your career.

Tags: capitalism is theft, give me bitcoin cuz feels, I am so fucking important, look at me, I am so much better than everybody else, I was in the military so you should believe every word I say, I will tweet nasty things about you if you disagree with me, Rachel Dolezal, transracialism, transracialphobia

Menstrual Equality At Last

by Antonio • July 8, 2015

Yesterday as I was on Facebook looking for dirty words to report, I saw many people shocked and amazed to find out there was a tampon invented for transgendered women. The FEM-FLO as it has been branded, is produced by the Sappho-Luxe company out of southern California. They have been making environmentally friendly feminine hygiene products for several years now, and have always been friendly to social justice warriors the world over, but this is their first product specifically catering to the transgendered market.

In case you’re unfamiliar, and thereby a transphobic bigot, trans women do not have a uterus. White cis gendered heterosexual capitalist males have been preventing that technology from being made available to trans people for centuries, because they are racist.

When changing anatomical sex from male to female, the testicles are removed, and the skin of foreskin and penis is usually inverted, as a flap preserving blood and nerve supplies (a technique pioneered by Sir Harold Gillies in 1951), to form a fully sensitive vagina (vaginoplasty). A clitoris fully supplied with nerve endings (innervated) can be formed from part of the glans of the penis. If the patient has been circumcised (removal of the foreskin), or if the surgeon’s technique uses more skin in the formation of the labia minora, the pubic hair follicles are removed from some of the scrotal tissue, which is then incorporated by the surgeon within the vagina. Other scrotal tissue forms the labia majora.

Until the white cis gendered hetero males have been overthrown, this is as close as we’ll get to true anatomical equality.

While we wait, Sappho-Luxe came up with a product that simulates menstruation. When one inserts the FEM-FLO into their new vagina, a capsule containing artificial menstrual blood begins to warm with the body’s temperature. When it reaches body temperature, the capsule melts and the “menses” is released into the cotton core of the device. The woman then removes the tampon, and puts another one in there as often as she likes until her emotional state returns to that of a non menstruating woman.

Now, for sure there is the problem of capitalist greed here. Fem-Flo tampons will come in boxes of 25 and cost around $19.99 per box. Exploiting the transgendered for profit is high treason to the cause, and should be answered for. If you ask me, the tampons should be provided to trans people free of charge, and the costs ought to be covered by the cis gendered women who buy their regular products, the white ones especially. However, while capitalism exists, this product is indeed a fine one.

I reached out to Sappho-Luxe to see if I could get a box of FEM-FLO tampons to try, as they are not going to be on store shelves until next month. They did indeed send me one, and I rushed straight to the nearest gender neutral restroom I could find, to try them out. Being pre-op, and thus lacking an inverted penis vagina myself (please donate!), I put one up my anus instead.

It was nothing short of luxurious. Within 15 minutes it was like my asshole was really bleeding! I got so emotional, I had to take a Midol! I called up all my trans friends to tell them about it, and for some reason they seemed confused.

“Why would you go through all that trouble and expense just to create an inconvenience? Not having periods is the best part of being a trans woman!” one of them said to me. “Equality” I told her, “Sweet, righteous, hard-won equality.”

Tags: egalitarianism, equality, I put a tampon up my ass and I liked it, trans people, transgenderism


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