For this Christmas special of the Radical Agenda, I put a bit of a remix together of “The Night Before Christmas”
Twas the night before Christmas in Manchester, New Hampshire
For junkies, and blacks, and their Jewish masters
This place once so white, but not anymore
Then at my apartment, a knock at my door
This fucking PO, at this hour on Christmas?
Who else could be knocking? This place is a secret?
Put down the controller to my PS4, put on a t-shirt, and open the door
You ain’t my PO, what the hell are you wearing?
There’s no pets allowed here, much less, 8 reindeer
Bull fuckin shit, is this some kind of gag?
The FBI send you? The fuck’s in the bag?
Take your damn drugs and your wierd fucking pets, go back to Boston, I’m done with you feds.
I asked you for help and you sent me to prison,
Now I’m trying to work and you keep interfering
Enough with the jokes, I’m in no mood to laugh
Ho Ho Ho Chris, you’re too funny by half
I’m not with the feds, and I live far from here,
Where everything’s white, except my reindeer,
You expect me to believe, that you’re Santa Claus?
In this shithole building, for what fucking cause?
Been a long time, since I been that high
The feds took my guns, but you try me you’ll die
I’m a fan of the show, and what white man isn’t?
Since you’ve been so good, thought I’d pay you a visit
Alright, I’ll bite, come in have a seat.
I ain’t go no cookies, have an energy drink
Okay now, fatso, what’s you’re agenda
I’ve got Jews to hate and I’m playing Nintendo,
I hate the Jews too, and that’s why I’m here
I brought you some presents to put them in fear
I can’t have weapons, I knew this was a trap
If you’re from the North Pole, I suggest you go back
Or I’ll fuck Mrs. Claus in front of those elves,
You send me to prison, your life’s on the shelf.
Ho Ho Ho, no guns, at least not just yet
First you need power, which I’ll help you to get
Let’s start with some crypto, Monero galore
Spend all you want, but oh wait, there’s more
Here, take these keys, the car’s in the lot
It’s got cold AC, where you’re going it’s hot
Yeah, I’m going to hell, but not tonight asshole
You think you can kill me, your name probably echoes.
I’ll bash your skull in with this cast iron dumbbell
Dump you in the park with the junkies, who gone tell?
He said “Relax psycho, Not that far south, I got you a studio, and a big fucking house”
For what? So those Jews can take it by judgment?
The fuck is the point while they run the government?
Pay in Monero, there’s no short supply,
No way that I pay them, I’d rather die
It’s not the expense, it’s the principle Santa
Those Jews made it up, in advance, and they planned it
I’d sooner see Viktor and learn to speak Russian
Or go back to prison, or get a concussion,
There must be some way you can help me with this,
You’re Santa, you’re here, it’s fucking Christmas
Well now that you mention it, I do know a guy
A powerful lawyer, connections on high
You straighten this out keep the car and the mansion,
Get these Jews off my back and you’ll see me dancing,
He called him on Signal, like Charlie Brown’s teacher
I grasped not a word, but listened quite eager
He hung up the phone, and asked for a fax
I looked at him sideways, then clickety clack
Away on my keyboard to find such a service, I gave him the number
We sat there quite nervous
Then came the message, page after page
As I started to read them, then I got enraged
This ain’t a dismissal or motion for such
These are death certificates you fat crazy fuck
Did you just rope me into a murder for hire?
I’ve got enough problems and this is quite dire.
The call was encrypted, and not from your phone.
You knew not a thing, and you’re home alone.
They died in six states, of natural cause
Will that make you believe in me, Santa Claus?
I’ll always believe now, thank you Santa!
He said “Don’t thank me thank Adolf Hitler!”
And there in my door way, with that fashy stash,
The Fuhrer did smile, and then in a flash
His arm went up in a Roman Salute,
I returned it quickly and Santa did too
Then we all shook hands then they made for the exit
Adolf turned around and said “Just one more thing Chris”
The struggle is real, I died for it, trust me
There’s more pain to come, but it’s worth it, come what may
Permanent struggle is the law of life,
Be grateful for it, and go find a wife
He jumped in the sleigh with Santa and waved
Rudolph’s nose glowed and they were off in a blaze
I turned around, set to enter my building,
The blacks were all staring in disbelief, blurry
I told them “Relax, it’s just Hitler and Santa,
for White Nationalist Christmas, here have a banana”
I packed half my shit and got in the car,
to my new studio, for my best show, by far
The phones did not ring as I told them this story
of Adolf and Santa and victory’s glory
With funds to spare and my enemies dead,
The show was a hit, and the Jews they did fret
With fame and fortune, the power did come,
I pardoned myself and I bought many guns
Next Christmas eve, no Jews to be found
No “Happy Holidays” No menorahs, no browns,
I sat by the fire with the wife and the kid,
rubbed her pregnant belly and gave her a kiss
Of all the gifts Santa ever did bring
The best was the one on which I put this ring,
And as we went to bed and I turned off the lights,
I heard Santa again, on that cold Winter night,
Merry Christmas to all of America’s Whites!
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